So this is how a set back feels......

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Today has been quite an emotional day.  Austin is having the A's and B's still.  Although A's and B's are common in premature babies... he was having such minimal spells, and then they just increased the past few days.  The spells are the result of "something".  His 48 hour blood culture came back negative for infection.  The doctors are keeping him on antibiotics, until we figure out what is causing the A's and B's.  While my husband and I were visiting this morning, the doctor came in to do an exam.  His heart sounded good and strong.  His belly sounded good.  He pushed on it to see if Austin reacted to be in pain (first sign of NEC -necrotizing enterocolitis- a serious condition in which part of the intestine is damaged, and may become infected).  Austin did not show signs of pain, and his belly felt good.  Doctors ordered belly and chest x-rays.  They removed his PICC LINE (it had become clotted) and put in a new IV to continue antibiotics.  He is doubled up on antibiotics -Tobramycin and Naficillin.  The results of his chest and belly x-rays came back normal.  The doctors and nurses all say to us continually "he does not act or look like a sick baby".

I called at 5:30 pm to check on Austin.  He is still having his A's and B's.  They have ordered another round of blood work and will be focusing on his blood gas, and are now checking for RSV (respiratory syncytial virus)- a virus that causes a severe chest cold and wheezing.  This is troublesome and serious to a preemie with sensitive lungs. 

Today has been a rough day.  We are trying to stay positive.  I have said many prayers to help me to keep the negative thoughts at bay.  We have been told that we would experience set backs, several, and to try to prepare... but how do you prepare not knowing what is causing your small little baby boy to have these episodes...especially when he's been defying all the odds.  Its so hard to stand by helpless.  My husband was really looking forward to holding his sweet boy again today... and although we understand as to why he cant be held today... we just want to make things better for him.  We dont want him in pain.  We dont want him to be sick.  We dont want him to be stressed.  His little body is working so hard to keep everything going in the right direction.  I get it... he is fighting so hard to survive that once in awhile he "forgets" to breathe.  BUT why is it happening all of the sudden.  That is what the doctors are trying to figure out and get a hold on.  Get this stopped.

I ask only for prayer at this moment.  I do not want to chat about it.  I just want to pray.  And cry. 

A prayer I say daily and nightly......

Lord, I pray that You would deliver Austin from any destruction, disease, injury,or infection that could come upon him.  Specifically I ask You to heal his immature body and organs, and his episodes of A's and B's.  While we are seeing these doctors in the NICU, I pray that You, Lord, give these doctors wisdom and full knowledge of the best way to proceed.  Thank you, Lord, that You suffered and died for us so that we might be healed.  I lay claim to that heritage of healing which You have promised in Your Word and provided for those who believe.  I look to You for a life of health, healing and wholeness for my child.  Amen.